Blog changes...

I've made a few changes on my blog and thought I'd spend a few minutes explaining why. A few weeks ago I was at Deseret book buying of all things the Janice Kapp Perry CD "I walk by faith". Anyway, in my browsing I came across the new CD by Hillary Weeks. I made the mistake of popping it into my CD player on the way to school one day. I say mistake because the first three songs had me sobbing so hard I had to pull over. The CD is amazing, especially tracks 1 and 3, and 4. Track 1 is called "If I only Had today" and the lyrics really hit me hard:

It seems like I've watched a million sunsets
And stared at a thousand full moons
Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever
And sometimes it all feels brand new

I could never count the heartbeats
From the day I was born until now
But not a single one goes unnoticed
By Him who breathes life in me somehow

But if there were no more tomorrow
If I knew tht I could not stay
I know how I'd spend every moment
If I only had today

I'd hold you and listen
And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
And for once I'd just let the phone ring
Then I'd remind you of forever
ANd how our love would never change
If I only had today

I'd wake up before the sun did
And I'd watch as you quitly sleep
I'd pray for time to move slowly
Knowing the moment won't keep

All the gifts that Heaven has given
Every blessing that's come my way
Wouldn't mean anything without you
So if I only had today

I'd hold you and listen
I'd memorize every detail of your face
I'd tell you I love you over and over
I wouldn't let excuses get in the way
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change
If I only had today

There's no time like the present
Life doesn't come with any guarentees
The sun will set and time won't wait

So while I have today

I'll hold you and listen
I'll let the dishes sit in the sink
I'll tell you I love you over and over
For once I'll just let the phone ring
And I'll remind you of forever
And how our love will never change
Because I have today


This song speaks all the words I will never be able to about my feelings for my sweet husband. We'll be married 3 years in a little over a month, and the time has just flown by. Times have been pretty rough for us the last year and a half. My two miscarriages have left me emotionally spent and all the tests and trying to get pregnant have put their strain on our marriage. It's not that we have problems, we just let little things get in the way some times of romance and taking care of each other. I've heard other couples who have struggled with infertility make similiar claims; sometimes the marriage gets put second priority as you try to deal with the heartache of multiple pregnancy losses and the hopes and dreams each lost baby takes along with it. This song reminded me that we're in this together, forever. We promised each other 3 years ago across an alter in the San Diego temple that we'd care for each other not just for this life, but for the eternities as well, and I know I've let that knowledge slip from time to time. I changed the title of the blog and the quote that follows to an excerpt from this song. Hopefully seeing it every time I open my blog to update it will be a continual reminder to me of what's most important.